


WAP (wet-assed pirates)

by braidedbootstraps



Category: Muppet Treasure Island (1996), Treasure Island - Robert Louis Stevenson
Genre: Age Difference, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, I mean its a reference but might as well tag it, I mean its wap, I’m sorry I’m not sorry, M/M, PWP, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Smut, Songfic, Sort Of, Topping from the Bottom, WAP, not explicitly referenced, technically, we been knew, wet assed pirates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-18 11:28:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28617321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/braidedbootstraps/pseuds/braidedbootstraps
Summary: There’s some whore-kin’s in this house...Meghan the stallion and Cardi B, Lyrics to WAP (wet assed pussy) rewritten for smutty Long John and Jim (whore)kins. I would apologise, but I feel no shame.
Relationships: Jim Hawkins/John Silver
Comments: 6
Kudos: 10





	WAP (wet-assed pirates)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [freshcinnamonroll](https://archiveofourown.org/users/freshcinnamonroll/gifts).



WAP (Wet Ass Pirate)

(There’s some whore-kins in this house)

(There’s some whore-kins in this house)

I said certified freak 

Seven days a week

Wet-assed Pirate,

Make that sailing game WEAK

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Yeah you fucking with some wet-assed pirates 

Bring a bucket and a mop, for this wet-assed pirate 

Bring that gallion into dock, for this wet-assed pirate 

Beat it up, sailor, catch a charge

Extra large and extra hard

Put this pirate right on your face

keep me moaning, like I’m a bard 

Hop on top, I wanna ride

I do a sword-swing while it's inside

Spit in my mouth, look in my eyes

This ocean is wet, come take a dive

Tie me up like I'm surprised

Let's role play, I'll wear a disguise

I want you to park that BIG. LONG. JOHN.

Right in this little coast line 

Make it cream, make me scream

Up on deck, make a scene

I don't swab, I don't clean

But let me tell you why I came to sea (aye aye)

Gobble me, swallow me, drip down the side of me

Quick, jump out 'fore you let him get the best of me 

I tell him where to put it, never tell him where I'm 'bout to be

I'll run down on him 'fore I have the captain running me

Talk your shit, bite your lip

Ask for doubloons while you ride that dick (while you ride that dick)

You really ain't never gotta fuck him for a thang

He already made his mind up 'fore he came

Now get your boots and your coat

For this wet-assed pirate

He bought a cutlass just for one night

with this wet-assed pirate 

Returned my compass just for kisses

from this wet-assed pirate 

Now make it rain if you wanna

See some wet-assed pirate 

Look, I need a hard hitter, I need a buccaneer 

I need a Rum drinker to fill me with fear 

Not a cabin boy, I need Captain Silver 

With a hook on him, hope it lean over

He got some treasure, then that's where I'm headed

Face like a god, no need to behead it 

He got a beard, well, I'm tryna wet it

I let him taste it, he won't regret it 

I don't wanna spit, I wanna gulp

I wanna gag, I wanna choke

I want you to touch that lil' dangly thing

That swing in the back of my throat

My head game is fire, switching to doggie 

It's going in dry and it's coming out soggy

I ride on that thang like EST* behind me

I spit on his mast and let him vandalize me 

Your honor, I'm a free son, handcuffs, treason

Switch my allegiance, doing better by stealin’ 

Put him on his knees, give him something to believe in

Never lost a fight, but I'm looking for a beating

Amongst privateers, I'm the slut mariner 

Skull and bones, he's a rebel leader 

Long John stands for “nice to meet ya”

Across his back, I’m a map-reader 

Tell the magistrate I’m his first mate

You can't hurt my feelings, I’m a boatswain 

If he fuck me and ask, "Whose is it?"

When I ride the dick, I'ma spell my name

Ah (whore-kins in this house)

Yeah, yeah, yeah

Yeah, you fucking with some wet-assed pirate

Bring a bucket and a mop for this wet-assed pirate

Bring that gallion into dock for this wet-assed pirate 

Now load your gun, have some fun

With this wet-assed pirate

Now get a bucket and a mop

That's some wet-assed pirate

I'm talking WAP, WAP, WAP

That's some wet-ass pirate 

Jolly Roger for these thots

That's some wet-assed pirate, huh

(There's some whore-kins in this house)

(There's some whore-kins in this house)

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> EST* East India Trading Company
> 
> This is my first contribution for this ship, and in fact this fandom. I can only express to my reader the sincerity of my love for this fan culture, despite what you’ve just read. Or depending on how you look at it, exactly in accordance with what you’ve just read.


End file.
